I am happy to say I completed my second book of the year. This book by Dr. Henry Cloud challenged me all month long. The title, The One-Life Solution, intrigued me as I shopped in the thrift section of a book store. I've heard great reviews on Cloud's many books, so I figured it was worth the $3 I paid for it. The subtitle really caught my eye, Reclaim Your Personal Life While Achieving Greater Professional Success. My work is my life and while I love it, there are times when I feel a bit out of balance. Camping is a consuming lifestyle.

I love the thought of a quick fix; read this book and learn how one thing can fix all your little problems. I suffer from a couple of troubles that I am pretty sure reading a book in the month of February cannot fix. For example, I do not like to say no, I have too much stuff, I love my all consuming job, and we live a very busy lifestyle because of the ministry. That said, I have tried to figure out how to find balance in my life so that some of the little things that really bug me can be worked out.

The challenge is that there are no easy fixes to anything. I am a bit disappointed and I kind of want my $3 back. Aside from learning that my problems are mainly related to me being me, I did really enjoy the book and would recommend it. I have my $3 copy so if someone would like to borrow it, you are welcome to it.

Here are the top things I learned from this book:
1. I need a good fence around my yard.
2. My motives are half wrong and half right.
3. Hurt and harm are two different things.
4. Guilt is not a good motivator.
5. I might be addicted to my smart phone, email, and social media.
6. Some simple changes can make a huge difference.

Here is a paradox Cloud shares about rules (boundaries or fences), "a rule- though it limits you in some ways, it simultaneously empowers you in others." (pg. 149)

Toward  the beginning of the book one paragraph stuck out:

"When you put your head on the pillow that night, you know that you moved the ball down the field that day, in the right game, in ways that matter to you. You are where you are supposed to be, doing what you were made to do, accomplishing all that you were capable of. You feel good through it all, knowing your professional life works well with other things that are important to you: your family, your friendships, your avocations, your values, your passions, your health, and your spirituality. The two lives, work and the personal things you value, are not in conflict with each other, nor do they even feel like two lives. Instead, you feel like one person authentically living out different parts of yourself in an integrated fashion, not allowing any one part to become the whole, or to get in the way of the other parts. This is what it looks like to be fully human- fully alive." (pg. 22)

This paragraph sums up what I feel is the goal of the book. There are times when I work hard in ministry, give all I have, go to bed really tired but often wake up not feeling refreshed. When I give like that day after day, I suddenly realize I am consumed with success in ministry and I have let some other really important parts of my life be pushed to the side. The good things I have done, are good, but possibly were not the best choice of my time at that moment.

Cloud uses the example of the glass jar, the pebbles and the rocks. Placing the larges rocks in the jar first allows for the most of the pebbles to be put in the jar as well. When the pebbles are placed in jar first, it is impossible to then put the large rocks in. This simple visual helps me see where I need to make some adjustments. Dan is a big rock in my life, my kids are a big rock in my life, my faith and spiritual life are a big rock in my life. As I began to work through the book I could see how I often place the pebbles in the jar first.

Over the past month, I have worked to intentionally place the large rocks in my jar. I can say that in order to do that I have had to say no to a few things. But in saying no (putting a fence up), I actually was able to say yes to more things and lay my head on my pillow at night, rest well and be refreshed.

I know I am not alone in this struggle. I have made it a matter of prayer, to be wise in my choices and to trust God to fill in the gaps of my errors. He is gracious and continues to guide me with a gentle hand.